Friday, July 29, 2016

Trust in the Lord.

I always struggled with trust.
Because I thought I could handle whatever was thrown at me.
I like having control.
But I don't have control.
God does.

My senior year of high school I was in a car accident (btw it wasn't my fault). I was driving home from school on a really curvy road and the driver on the opposite side of the road crossed the center lane and hit my car on the driver side headlight. My car flipped forward two and a half times, landing upside down in the road. 

I can still remember it all so vividly. I remember flipping and looking around having no idea what was happening. After I landed I was so confused. I looked at my left hand and it was covered in blood from my window shattering. My knee was throbbing from hitting the dash. I was terrified.

Some really nice people helped me that day and I wish I knew who they were so I could thank them. After realizing that I was upside down and someone yelling at me that 911 was coming, I thought I had to get out. (probably not my smartest decision, but I was not just going to hang upside down and wait for someone to get me. I'm strong and independent ((maybe)) and I was getting out of that car) So I did. I somehow got out of my seatbelt (which deff helped save my life, so wear you seatbelt!!) and crawled out of my flipped car, onto shattered glass and walked away from the car. 

Shortly after, the ambulance was there and they put me on a stretcher, a neck brace gave me an iv and took for to the ER. I was so so scared. Whenever I'm scared or really nervous I sing a Jesus song to calm me. So bless that paramedic. Yes, I was singing my heart out to Oceans and Whom Shall I Fear in the back of the ambulance. (disclaimer: I'm world's worst singer like ever.) 

 My injuries: bruises, scratches, cuts, concussion, and severe back pain that I'll have forever.
But that's it.
No broken bones, no memory loss, no fractures, nothing.
It could have been so worse. 
God was definitely protecting me. I know that.

Afterward, I was really angry. I was mad at the other driver. 
She crossed the middle lane because she had her dog in the front seat.
I could have died or been seriously injured because of this ladies dog.
I didn't understand how she was so irresponsible.

I was confused as to why God allowed this to happen to me.
What did I do to deserve this?
Why me?


Fast forward a few months.
I was accepted to my dream school, Clemson University.
I was thrilled. I still am.

I also was scheduled to spend my spring break serving on a mission trip in Uganda.
I was super excited about both of these adventures.

Both of these things cost a lot of money.
and things were tight.
When the time was coming I didn't have the money.

But God is faithful.

About a week and a half before all this money was due, my check came from wreck.
A blessing from God.

That money I got back from my wreck paid for my Clemson down payment, my mission trip, and my freshmen year of college.


In those few weeks after the accident I was angry, upset and confused.

But God always has a plan.
The Lord will provide.

I know I'm supposed to be at Clemson.
I know God wanted me to serve in Uganda.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV

Whatever is thrown your way whether it's good or bad, know that God has a plan. We are not in control, He is. Trust in him.

“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” Psalm 46:10

Until next time.

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